A Collection of Songs for the Soul
by Clogallie
Summary: A collection of random SongFics just for you.
1. Sk8er Boi

**A Collection of Songs for the Soul**

* * *

**A/N:** Alright! I don't know why, but I realized I haven't ever written any SongFics (except for a small excerpt in my Tears of Venus). So I'm writing a collection of SongFics here! Yay! There will be various pairings, mainly Rimahiko and Kuutau, though I'll consider some Amuto or Tadamu, and other random pairings, depending on my mood and if there are any appropriate songs. I'll probably update this more often than once a week...or zero times a week, depending on my mood and such stuff. :P Also, I'll keep Author's Notes to a minimum in this...FanFic (?) cause I feel like it kinda ruins the whole mood...haha.

So hope you'll enjoy A Collection of Songs for the Soul!

* * *

**Song:** Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne  
**Genre: **Romance  
**Pairing:** Kuutau  
**Warning:** Mild Yaya bashing  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! or Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne

---------------------------------------

Once upon a time…there were two teenagers…

_He was a boy,  
__She was a girl,  
__Cannot make it anymore obvious._

_He was a punk,  
__She did ballet,  
__What more can I say?_

He was always a troublemaker, with his charming smile and his good looks, though most of the time, he managed to get out of trouble. She, on the other hand, spent her days practicing ballet, stretching her limbs towards their limit.

_He wanted her,  
__She'd never tell,  
__Secretly she wanted him as well._

_But all of her friends  
__Stuck up their nose  
__And they had a problem  
__With his baggy clothes._

They got to know each other at school. He claimed it was love at first sight. He knew that he wanted her, just for him. And she, secretly, she did to. But when she introduced him to her friends, they looked at him with disgust. They couldn't believe her tastes.

"Yaya-chii? Are you sure about him? He looks like the type to ditch you the moment he finds another cute girl."

"Yaya? Could you reconsider? His clothes show his personality enough, ugh!"

_He was a skater boy,  
__She said, "See you later boy"  
__He wasn't good enough for her._

_She had a pretty face,  
__But her head was up in space;  
__She needed to come back down to Earth._

He did all he could to earn her love; through flowers, praises, showering of gifts, heck, he even skated up and down the road looking for her red hair band that she'd dropped. But when he returned it to her, she simply smiled and said, "Thanks. See you later, boy." The boy thought he wasn't good enough for her. He sighed. She was obviously pretty, but could she just not realize his love for her? Was she really that blind? Or was her mind simply some place else?

_Five years from now,  
__She sits at home,  
__Feeding the baby,  
__She's all alone._

It was already five years later since their teenage years of graduations and tearful good-byes. She had made the wrong choice: marrying to a famous dance instructor that ditched her the moment he found someone prettier. Sadly, she had to take the burden and raise their baby. Sighing, she grabed the baby's milk bottle and gave it to him.

_She turns on TV,  
__Guess who she sees?  
__Skater boy rockin' up MTV._

Having nothing to do, she hugged the baby close and suited herself on the couch, turning on the TV. The remote dropped the moment she clicked on the red button, and she has to take care as to not drop the baby as all. Rubbing her eyes with her spare hand, she stared at the TV screen once more. There, standing right there, was that boy that she secretly loved, that "skater boy," as she'd dubbed him. He sure as sure was on TV, playing the lead guitar for a band and singing a song for MTV.

_She calls up her friends,  
__They already know  
__And they've all got  
__Tickets to see his show._

"Hey, Chika-chii, remember "skater boy" that Yaya told you about? He's on MTV! MTV! Channel 9!"

"I know, Yaya. I can't believe it either. I've already gotten tickets to his show!"

"Kaoru-tan, "skater boy," remember him? He's on MTV! Can you believe it?"

"I know, I've seen him too! I couldn't believe my eyes! I bought tickets as soon as I saw him!"

_She tags along,  
__Stands in the crowd,  
__Looks up at the man  
__That she turned down_

She joined with her friends and stood in the crowd at his concert. The moment he stepped onto the stage, with the same baggy clothes as he had in his younger years, the crowd went wild. She, as well, looked up at him from the crowd, looking up at the one she'd turned down.

_He was a skater boy,  
__She said, "See you later boy"  
__He wasn't good enough for her.  
__  
__Now he's a super star,  
__Slamming on his guitar.  
__Does your pretty face  
__See what he's worth?_

Once, he "wasn't good enough for her." Now, as a superstar, slamming on his guitar at concerts, on MTVs, she finally realized that, perhaps, he was worth more than she credited him for.

_Sorry girl but you missed out,  
__Well tough luck that boy's mine now.  
__We are more than just good friends;  
__This is how the story ends._

_Too bad that you couldn't see,  
__See the man that boy could be.  
__There is more than meets the eye;  
__I see the soul that is inside._

But too bad. She was too late. He was already mine. Yes; Souma Kuukai, famous lead guitar player, was in my band, as I was the lead singer. Hoshina Utau; who didn't know my name? Sure, we were good friends at first, but now we're more, _much more_ than that. And that was how our story was going to end: us, together, happily ever after. Too bad, Yaya. Too bad you couldn't see what Kuukai could've been, would've been, and is now. You only saw him to his eyes; I saw him through his very soul.

_He's just a boy,  
__And I'm just a girl,  
__Can I make it anymore obvious?_

_We are in love,  
__Haven't you heard  
__How we rock each other's world?_

Just like you and him, we were just a boy and a girl. But we were in love; deep love. Haven't you heard about us? How we were everything to the other? How we were passionately in love? How we completely and totally rocked each others' worlds?

_I'm with the skater boy,  
__I'll see you later boy,  
__I'll be backstage after the show._

_I'll be at the studio  
__Singing the song we wrote  
__About a girl you used to know._

_I'm with the skater boy,  
__I said, "See you later boy",  
__I'll be back stage after the show_

_I'll be at the studio  
__Singing the song we wrote  
__About a girl you used to know._

Now, I'm with your "skater boy." After this show of mine, I'll be backstage at our studio, singing the song we wrote about this certain girl you once knew about. You've perhaps heard of this song already. Specifically for you, him and I, we made a song, just for you. Wanna know the name of this song?

Sk8er Boi


	2. Just the Girl

**A Collection of Songs for the Soul**

**

* * *

**

**Song:** Just the Girl by The Click Five  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Pairing:** Rimahiko  
**Warning: **First-try at a FanFic from Nagi's POV  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Shugo Chara! or Just the Girl by The Click Five

----------------------------------------

_She's cold and she's cruel  
__But she knows what she's doin'  
__She pushed me in the pool  
__At our last school reunion._

Oh, "cold and cruel" wouldn't be enough to describe the girl of my dreams. She was cold. She was cruel. She was short and chibi, yet she could give off deadly auras that could send even the bravest heroes running for their lives.

"Purplehead," she greeted me, as usual, at our Elementary Guardian's Reunion Yaya insisted on having, though I think it's just an excuse to have a celebration afterschool on a normal high school day for no reason. I sweat-dropped at her simplicity, just like always, as I smiled brightly, greeting her back, though all she did was turn her back and walk away towards Amu. I trotted after her, wanting to get to know her better, but who knew.

SPLASH

She'd pushed me into the pool before I knew it.

I glared at her from under my wet bangs, as she fake-cried once more. "A—AMU! I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUSH PURPLEHEA—NAGIHIKO DOWN THE POOL! I'M SORRY~~" Amu immediately fell for her trap, as everyone looked at me pitifully. I sighed. There was little point in pointing out those tears were fake this time. I got out of the pool and sighed, changing into my spare clothes that I'd brought and slightly drying up my hair so I wouldn't catch a cold. Oh, she seemed so innocent, but she knew _exactly_ what she was doing. I caught her smirk at me as I rolled my eyes.

_She laughs at my dreams  
__But I dream about her laughter.  
__Strange as it seems  
__She's the one I'm after._

"NAGI-KUN~~~" I heard Yaya's voice as she signaled me to go over. I smiled and walked over, and found them sitting cross-legged on the ground. Taking a seat as well, everyone's gaze seemed to be on me. "Ne, Nagi-kun, what's your dream?" Yaya asked. "Like…whatcha wanna do after high school?" I thought about it.

"Well…I guess I'd say either basketball or dancing. Though I'm personally leaning towards basketball. My mother wants me to take dancing out to the world though." I said thoughtfully. On my side, I heard Rima snicker. "Yes, Rima-chan?" I asked in a sickeningly sweet voice. She turned to glare at me.

"Cross-dresser, doesn't this name already tell you that basketball for you is impossible?" she said rather bluntly. Amu scolded her, but all she did was turn her back towards Amu and cross her arms. I couldn't help but allow a smile to flit onto my face. That very laugh, even though it wasn't quite a wholesome laugh, was exactly what I dreamed about at night. To you, it may strange that her, out of all the girls there were on this world, was the one I was after.

_Cause she's bittersweet,  
__She knocks me off of my feet  
__And I can't help myself  
__I don't want anyone else.  
__She's a mystery,  
__She's too much for me  
__But I keep comin' back for more.  
__She's just the girl I'm lookin' for._

"Ne, ne, Rima-chii, whattabout you?" Yaya asked. "What's your dream?" Rima turned her attention back to the crowd.

"Well…I'd still say comedy…but most importantly, comedy because I want everyone to laugh." Rima let out one of her own small smiles, and I can't help but think that she's usually so cold, so bitter, but she had a sweet side as well. Her very smile knocked me off of my feet as I tried to keep my hold and stay in the same position. I just can't help it. She's the one, the only one I want.

Suddenly, her smile drops.

Yet again, she, the girl of my dream, is still a mystery that I have yet to unravel. She's hiding stuff from us well. It's been like six years and I still can't say I know her well. The shame on me.

She probably noticed I was staring at her for a long time, so she glared at me. I smiled back nervously. It didn't matter that she didn't want me; I'll just keep coming back for more. Cause she's the girl I've been waiting for forever.

_She can't keep a secret  
__For more than an hour.  
__She runs on 100 proof attitude power.  
__And the more she ignores me  
__The more I adore her.  
__What can I do?  
I'd do anything for her._

"Ne, Amu, did you hear about – " Rima scooted over towards Amu and whispered something into the rosette's ear. It may not seem like it, but Rima was a huge gossiper. Any secret that was nonrelated to her friend she'd probably let it loose before an hour passed. Of course, I'd have to hope she didn't know any secrets about me. I wasn't quite on her 'friends' list yet. She and Amu let out a small smile, and once again, she catches me staring at her.

"What do you want, Purplehead?" she hissed. I sighed. She was always, 100% of the time, in that stubborn attitude of hers, not willing to acknowledge the fact that I wasn't an enemy. Turning her head away, she once again entered her "ignoring-Purplehead" stance. I rolled my eyes. But I found her ignoring me simply adorable. What could I do about it? She'll perhaps never know, but I'd do anything, _anything_, just for her.

_Cause she's bittersweet,  
__She knocks me off of my feet  
__And I can't help myself  
__I don't want anyone else.  
__She's a mystery,  
__She's too much for me  
__But I keep comin' back for more.  
__She's just the girl I'm lookin' for._

"Wow, it's already 7:00. Time sure flies when you're having fun." Tadase remarked. Everyone nodded in agreement. It was time to go home. We still had homework to finish. Cleaning up our mess we made during our picnic for dinner, there she was again, helping Amu with picking the trash. Yet the very next moment, she's stomping on my foot. I can't tell if she's seriously bitter or sweet, but all I know is that she's exactly the girl that I want. She's a bit too much for me to handle now, but no worries. I'll keep coming back for her, cause I'll always be waiting for her.

"Ja ne, minna!" we exclaimed to each other, going home. Rima still doesn't know but her house and I go in the same direction till an intersection. I took care to follow behind her by a couple meters so she wouldn't accuse me of stalking her.

_The way she sees it's me  
__On her caller ID  
__She won't pick up the phone  
__She'd rather be alone.  
__But I can't give up just yet  
__Cause every word she's ever said  
__Is still ringin' in my head  
__Still ringin' in my head._

Growing bored, I flipped out my cell phone and dialed her number. From up front, her ringtone _Itsuka wa Romansu_ (yes, I even know her ringtone) rang clearly through the air. She grabbed her cell phone out from her bag and scoffed at what was probably another nickname of mine. She pressed a button and put her cell phone back. It was probably the ignore button. Of course, she wouldn't pick up. She'd much rather be by herself than be with me. But no matter what, I can't give up just yet. All those words she's ever said, whether it be the jokes she's made, or the insults she's hurled at me, or those answers to class questions, they're still ringing inside of my head. Oh no, I still can't give up.

_She's cold and she's cruel  
__But she knows what she's doin'  
__Knows just what to say  
__So my whole day is ruined._

I got a text, as I heard my ringtone and flipped out my cell phone. Amazingly, it was from Rima. I checked the content and my heart fell.

**From: Rima-chan!**

_**gota problem cross-dresser? texting me right after our reunion. leave me alone or ill force you into nadeshiko into school.**_

Ouch. Didn't that hurt; a threat from your girl of your dreams. And she knew _exactly_ what to say so my whole day would be ruined: reminding me of my cross-dressing days. What could I say about her?

_Cause she's bittersweet,  
__She knocks me off of my feet  
__And I can't help myself  
__I don't want anyone else.  
__She's a mystery,  
__She's too much for me  
__But I keep comin' back for more._

_Cause she's bittersweet,  
__She knocks me off of my feet  
__And I can't help myself  
__I don't want anyone else.  
__She's a mystery,  
__She's too much for me  
__But I keep comin' back for more.  
__(Oh, I keep comin' back for more)  
__She's just the girl I'm lookin' for.  
__(Just the girl I'm lookin' for)  
__I'm lookin' for  
__I'm lookin' for  
__I'm lookin' for_

Yet amidst this all, I'd still say Mashiro Rima is

_Just the girl I'm lookin' for._


	3. Break My Heart

**Song:** Break My Heart by Hilary Duff  
**Genre:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort  
**Pairing:** X-Kuutau (**A/N: meaning something sad between them happens. Please remember the term**)  
**Warning: **Not a fluffy story, yet not extremely angsty. A sad break-up.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! nor Break My Heart by Hilary Duff

* * *

_Someone always gets their hearts stomped to the ground  
This is what I see every time I look around  
I never thought that this would happen to me  
I never thought I'd end up this way_

Sure, I knew that people broke up everyday. In fact, it was happening even to my friends. I watched Amu as she started giving up on Ikuto's return. I saw Rima and Nagihiko fight till they decided to break up as well. Even Tadase claimed that having a long-distance relationship with someone half-way across the world was rather difficult. Everyday, hearts around me were getting broken and stomped on.

But me? Nah. I thought of myself as different from the rest. I never thought that the same thing would happen to me. I never thought I'd end up in the same situation as them. But when he said those fated words…

"Utau-ko—Utau. Let's…let's break up." He said, attempting to mumble them as softly as possible. I stared at him in disbelief, using all I had to hold back my hand ready to slap him across his face, leaving my mark on him forever.

_And now that you're through with me  
Don't know what to do with me  
I guess I'm on my own again  
Like I'm some kind of enemy  
Never a friend to me  
Remember when you used to say  
Things will always be this way  
_

SLAP

But I guess I couldn't control myself. He rubbed his cheek with his hand but no sign of emotion surfaced on his emotionless visage. I glared at him.

"Well, isn't that great? We broke up! We're through! I'm your enemy now, the one you broke up with! Guess what? I don't wanna hear the 'lets just be friends' crap. Kuuk—Souma-san, we're separate people now, alright?" I hissed, turning around and strutting off. Sure, I looked tough and strong, but in the inside, my heart was already shattered. Once again, I was on my own, this time without Ikuto. I allowed myself to remember the days when he told me that "things would always be the same"…him with me...as I let a solitary tear fall out. Wiping my eyes before more tears fell, I straightened up, head held high, and walked down the road.

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me  
_

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to blame him for everything. Not having the courage, I ran home and grabbed out the teddy bear he'd given me on our one-month anniversary. I smiled at it, but my smile soon turned malicious.

"Did you like that, huh?" I asked the teddy bear, picturing it as Kuukai. "You loved it, didn't you? Breaking my heart? Did you enjoy the show? Watching me slowly fall apart, all because of those stupid words you said? I'm falling apart, I am! Look! LOOK! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!" I exclaimed, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face as I punched the teddy bear in all my rage, letting my emotions pour.

_Now I'm trying to get my heart up off the ground  
My confidence is gone  
Happiness can not be found  
So look what you did to me  
You got the best of me  
And now I'm stuck with all the rest  
It will never be the same  
_

I straightened up after my emotional turmoil, glancing at the teddy bear that was basically already dead. I tried standing up, but my heart was already on the ground. I had no confidence in facing the world. The one I thought who was my everything pushed me away. How could I find happiness now? I turned to the pitiful form of the leftover teddy bear.

"Well, look at me now." I muttered. "You're smart. You won this time. You got the better of me. Now…I'm just all that's left…that'll never be the same…" I trailed off, as I closed my eyes and drifted off into sleep.

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me  
_  
_Break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me  
_  
_All I ever wanted  
Has left me standing here alone  
It started with you and ended with me_

_All I ever needed  
I had it with you in my arms  
It started with you and ended with me  
_

It was horrible. Even in my dreams, he still haunted me. The same scene of him breaking up with me repeated itself in my brain multiple times, as I watched as a bystander. I pointed my finger at him and cursed.

"Thanks a lot! Happy now, now that you've broken my heart! Huh? Happy that I'm falling apart?" I screamed, though the scene proceeded nonetheless, as I watched "me" run off. I sighed, as the scene followed "me." Pausing for a moment, "I" stopped, letting a tear run off, as I sadly watched the scene. I turned to see him, as he had his hands in his pocket, walking off. I blinked my eyes to hold back the tears. He, the one that was all I ever wanted…left me standing here alone. All I ever wanted was to be safe, held in his arms. It started with him…but it had to end with me by myself.  
_  
Break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart_

I woke up from my dream, my eyes facing the ceiling. Another tear rolled out.

"Why did you have to…"

_Break my heart_


	4. Fall for You

**A Collection of Songs for the Soul**

* * *

**Song: **Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade  
**Genre: **Romance  
**Pairing: **Rimahiko  
**Warning: **Some parts of the song might not fit in perfectly with the story. I've added them but given them weird explanations. Please forgive.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! or Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade

----------------------------------------

Tonight. Tonight. What a general term. Tonight, I'll be having dinner. Doing homework. Playing Wii. Going to sleep. Tonight.

Yet tonight is different. It certainly shall be different.

_The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting  
__Could it be that we have been this way before?  
__I know you don't think that I am trying  
__I know you're wearing thin down to the core_

We're not fighting over some miniscule detail I failed to catch, or you pointed out. We've gotten through the day without a single fight, a single argument, a single retort; I was seriously wondering if you were sick. Has it ever been like this? Perhaps on the first day I met you? I don't remember; those specific details usually don't last long over a period of five years.

I know you. At least I suppose so. I thought I could see everyone through, but apparently, you're the only one that can see _me_ through. Can I see you through? I'm not sure. But most definitely, you probably think I'm not even trying to be your friend. Oh yes, I know you very well. I know you hate me because I was once her best friend. I irritated the living crap out of you. My simple presence annoyed you. And I'm pretty sure I'm wearing you thin down to your very core.

_But hold your breath  
__Because tonight will be the night  
__That I will fall for you over again  
__Don't make me change my mind_

But forget about those details. Draw a breath and prepare yourselves for my words. Tonight, out of all the 265 nights of the year; millions of nights of my life, will be the night that I will fall for you, fall hard, fall deep into love with you. I'd given up on that crush a couple of years ago, but I'm sorry I can't restrain myself. I want you—no, I _need_ you.

And whatever you say, whatever you do, will never change my mind.

_Or I won't live to see another day  
__I swear it's true  
__Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
__You're impossible to find_

If you do, I won't live to see tomorrow's sunrise…with you beside my side. Because you're the girl I've been waiting for. You're the girl that's for me. You're the girl that's impossible to find, yet I have miraculously found. You're the one.

_This is not what I intended  
__I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
__You always thought I was stronger  
__I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start_

This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to remain restricted. I was not supposed to fall for you, exactly the reason I got rid of my simple crush on you. I promised that I would never bother you, including if I loved you. I'm sorry. I swore to you that I'd never break my promises and fall apart, but I have failed you. Yes, I'm strong, but I've now broken. I'm sorry. But please understand: from the very beginning, I'd loved you. I'd loved you since the very beginning of this all.

I've loved you since the start.

_Oh, but hold you breathe  
__Because tonight will be the night  
__That I will fall for you over again  
__Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
__I swear it's true  
__Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
__You're impossible to find_

Don't say a word. Keep your words to yourself. I don't want to know what you're thinking about. All I need to tell you is that I've fallen for you once more today. I've already decided. If I change my mind, I'll definitely lose my purpose on Earth. I swear on my soul that it's true. Because you're that very girl that I can't find yet I've found.

You're the one.

_So breathe in so deep  
__Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep  
__And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap  
__And remember me tonight when you're asleep_

Now breathe. Breathe in deep. Breathe in so deep, inhale my scent, because I'm now yours forever and ever. Remember your words. Remember them tightly in your mind. Remember them till the end of the world—no, till our love ends. Which is never. Talking can only do so much. Remember your words, your beliefs, your very own promises.

And before you fall asleep, please remember me, dream of me, forget-me-not.

_Because tonight will be the night  
__That I will fall for you over again  
__Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
__I swear it's true  
__Because a girl like you is impossible to find_

_Tonight will be the night  
__That I will fall for you over again  
__Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day  
__I swear it's true  
B__ecause a girl like you is impossible to find  
__You're impossible to find_

You're my very own girl that's impossible yet possible to find.

You're my angel from heaven.

You're Mashiro Rima, and you're my one and only love.


	5. Everything You Want

**A Collection of Songs for the Soul**

* * *

**A/N:** Many, MANY thanks to my (ONE AND ONLY, *COUGH COUGH*) reviewer, Juleskat101. The reviews are heart-warming...seeing they're the only ones. I've decided. Even if no one reviews, I'll still update this. This is just for my own fun, right? As for my other stories...I can't promise I'll update with no reviews. ;) This song, Everything You Want, is requested by Juleskat101. Please enjoy and give kudos to her for this song.

TO: Juleskat101. And I guess the rest of my readers.  
Sorry I did a poor job with this SongFic. The lyrics were a bit here, then suddenly there, so I did my best connecting them.

Also, on a second note, I'll be going on a half-hiatus mode, meaning not coming on FanFic to post for about two weeks. Do two weeks count as hiatus? I don't know, but I'm not posting, so that's all I'll say. I'll definitely review more and read more though. The main purpose of this rest is:

1. Slightly get focused on studies again. My grades are starting to drop and they aren't looking quite nice.  
2. Refill on inspiration.  
3. Focus on my probably last attempt on creating an OC-centric story that I've failed multiple times already.

So, I'll be gone with this story and my others for about half a month. See ya after half a month!

And of course, enjoy!

* * *

**Song: **Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon  
**Genre: **Romance/Drama  
**Pairing:** Rimahiko  
**Warning: **A bit random in some places. And rather an epic fail in my opinion.  
**Disclaimer:**I do not own Shugo Chara! or Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon

* * *

Rima's POV:

It's yet another Guardian meeting. Nothing special, right?

Right?

You know that something's wrong.

It isn't everyday your heart beats a million miles an hour. It isn't everyday you feel your cheeks flushing at someone's very words. It certainly isn't everyday when you're asked if you're in love. Or at least in like.

"Ne, ne, Rima-chii, do you like Nagi-kun?" Yaya asked naively, once the Guardian meeting ended and everyone had separated, leaving Yaya, Amu, and me behind.

Was it normal to blush? I don't think so.

"Why would I like that cross-dresser?" I fumed, as Yaya and Amu sweat-dropped, Amu slightly wincing at the word. When the news was broken on her, she was slightly surprised. I didn't blame her. It would have been like finding out Amu was a boy all the time when I told her all my secrets and slept over at her house when Mama and Papa agreed.

Yaya rolled her eyes. "Yaya can sense LOVE in the air! Since Ikuto-kun's nowhere to be seen and Kairi-koi is off with Sanjou-san helping Utau-chii, it must be youuuu!" Yaya exclaimed, sounding a bit like that creepy fortune teller that I heard about Nagihiko's true identity from. What was her name?

Saki Nobko?

Something like that.

"How about the Charas?" I said. "Daichi and Ran seem to have it going well," I remarked, as Yaya rolled her eyes.

"Yaya cannot sense Chara love but she can sense HUMAN LOVEEEE!" Yaya exclaimed a pitch higher than usual. I sweat-dropped. "Yaya, you're taking Eru's role." Yaya ignored me.

"So! Rima-chii didn't answer the question!" Yaya pointed out, looking like she'd won the lottery—in her case, to buy a life's worth of lollipops. "Do you like Nagi-kun?" she asked slyly. My eyes narrowed down.

_Somewhere there's speaking  
It's already coming in  
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind_

Somewhere, there's something speaking. Except where? Somewhere, perhaps in my unconsciousness, something is speaking. But what? I couldn't understand it. CONSCIENCE, WHAT CRAP DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?

**Nothing. Simply you're in love.**

WHAT????????

**Yep, in love with—**

And since when did Conscience even get cut off? Ohh. Someone cut me off.

"RIMA-CHII! YOU'VE BEEN ZONING OUT! WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?" Yaya ushered me, as I glared at the hyperactive girl. Nervously, she sweat-dropped and took her seat. I smiled sickening sweetly.

"No," I said with as much venom as possible, stepping out of my chair. "I'm going. Ja ne," I said, going off.

Wandering down the road, I attempted to figure out who I was in love with. Fighting with your own conscience was never really pretty.

**There's no use denying it; I can spot a girl in love.**

SHUT UP CONSCIENCE!

**There, there, what did I just say about denying?**

YOU SERIOUSLY ARE SO ANNOYING!

**That's a pity. If you'd just look around and notice who changed your attitude, you might notice who you're in love with.**

DARGH. FINE CONSCIENCE, I'LL TRY!

Looking around, I noticed I'd wandered FAR away from my home. Cautiously roaming around the district, I realized I'd wandered to that Fujisaki's house.

_You never could get it  
Unless you were fed it  
Now you're here and you don't know why_

Wait a sec, why am I here? I'd never come here on my free will! Why would anyone want to come to cross-dresser's house? What the heck am I doing here?

I dashed off before anyone would notice me.

Why? What was wrong with me? What was up with those blushes? The stutters? The hesitations? The questionings? The wanderings? The…the…whole thing?

I tripped over a stone as my knee burned from the friction with the cement sidewalk. What was wrong with me?

_But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
Past the places where you used to learn_

Wasn't I supposed to understand myself? I was supposed to follow my instinct. I always did: ignoring the fan boys, befriending Amu, keeping my distance from cross-dresser…

Past my self, what was that stirring saying? What?

_You howl and listen  
Listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angels who won't return  
_

Sighing, I return home, early before Mama and Papa have returned. Locking myself in my room, I work studiously on my dinner. They return. They have their fight. They finish up. I walk downstairs. We civilly, or rather, silently, eat our dinner. I finish.

Everyday's been like this for awhile already. Yeah: about half a year.

Going home, I look up at the moon. I narrow my eyes down and glare at it. It was shining really brightly tonight.

Perhaps a prayer won't hurt.

"You stupid moon. What are you doing up there, shining so brightly? Get down here and help me with my problem already! Who do I love? This is so stupid! I don't even know myself! Send an angel down to help me already!" I complained. I opened my eyes and looked at the moon.

It remained exactly the same.

Even the angels are ignoring me.

Sighing, I climbed into bed, though it was a bit early. Everything was just going against me today. Did I do something wrong?

I'd just pulled the covers over me when my cell phone rang. Sighing out of exasperation, I unearthed my cell phone from the bottom of my school bag and checked the caller ID.

_Fujisaki Nagihiko AKA Cross-dresser, girly boy, and purplehead_

How I love Caller IDs.

"Yes, Fujisaki Nagihiko, AKA Cross-dresser, girly boy, and purplehead?" I asked into the receiver. The other line remained silent for a moment.

"Hurling a series of insults at another isn't quite the thing to do at night, Rima-chan," Nagihiko said in a now-now-let's-all-be-friends-and-go-kill-barney tone. "I just wanted to ask if you're ready for the Math Unit Test on Friday," he said smoothly.

"Huh?" I asked, as Nagihiko chuckled.

"You know, the Math Unit Test. Unit 2. This Friday. Two days later," he said, trying to prompt the memory. Wait a sec—

"NO WAYYYYYYYYYY!" I screamed into the cell phone. "Themathunittestwhenisitgonnabeimsogonnadiewhatamigonnadoooooooooooo?" I questioned Nagihiko in a frenzy. My Math grade was already low enough! The Math teacher was threatening to call my parents if I didn't pull it up! My parents couldn't know!"

"Haha, Rima-chan. I knew that'd be your reaction. That's what I'm calling you. Do you want to study tomorrow afterschool?" he asked. I glared, though I knew he couldn't see me.

"Is that a study date?" I asked bluntly. I could almost imagine him shrugging his shoulders.

"Depends on how you view it. I view it as a straight-A student helping another needy student to not fail her next unit test and bring home a bad score that her parents will need to sign and then—" Before Nagihiko could continue, I cut him off.

"Alright, got it. Tomorrow, afterschool, library," I said briskly. "I'm going to bed. Good night," I said curtly, hanging up and lying down on my bed.

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be_

Nagihiko is definitely a life-saver, no matter how much I wish to deny it. He always helps me out when I need it, whether it be when we're fighting X-Eggs that appear occasionally, with Math or Biology, or something else, or even with daily life.

He is, in a way, my would-be self. Wow, how ironic. I want to be nice, to smile, to help others out willingly, without a single weird glance sent my way.

The irony of this world.

_He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why  
_

Never has he said a wrong word. Never has he angered me, or at least not intentionally. He's always going with my needs, cheering me on when I'm excited, sympathizing with me something horrible has happened.

Yet, he seems rather not of value to me.

Wonder why.

_You're waiting for someone  
To put you together  
You're waiting for someone to push you away_

Yes. I'm waiting for someone to put me together. Whoever that is. To pull my separated pieces together and bring me into my whole self. I'm waiting for them to then push me away, push me away from sorrow, despair, deceit, lies, and to truth, freedom, joy, and happiness.

_There's always another wound to discover  
There's always something more you wish he'd say  
_

Every time I get to know Nagihiko better, I always discover another scarred part of his life. At first glance, you'd probably, like me, think he was a perfect guy: nice, polite, great at academics, cooking, dancing, AND basketball. But at another glance?

He had to cross-dress.

Dance against his will.

And practice a million hours a day.

And live without his father who left his mother because of him.

That certainly wasn't quite the best life.

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be_

_He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why _

What is Nagihiko to me?

Nothing?

Or perhaps…something more than nothing? Something? Anything?

Ev—everything?

_But you'll just sit tight  
And watch it unwind  
It's only what you're asking for_

Closing my eyes, I relax, sinking into my bed. Whatever. I'll watch as my life unwinds. I'm asking for a good life, that's all. I'll watch whatever comes out.

_And you'll be just fine  
With all of your time  
It's only what you're waiting for _

I'll be fine. No worries. Even if he's nothing, something, anything, or everything. I'll be perfectly fine.

Right?

_Out of the island  
Into the highway  
Past the places where you might have turned_

Out of Japan, down international highways, around places I've never gone, there's perhaps someone else waiting for me. Maybe someone else will be 'the one' for me.

Is there?

…

I highly doubt it.

_You never did notice  
But you still hide away  
The anger of angels who won't return_

Perhaps, I've been blind. Perhaps, I never noticed. Because I was hiding away from the anger of the love angels that vowed they wouldn't return because of all the hearts I've broken.

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be_

_He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why  
_

Perhaps, he's everything I want and need.

* * *

Nagihiko's POV:

I'm confused. I'm utterly and completely and totally and utterly and completely and utterly and totally

Confused.

Puzzled.

Discombobulated.

Rima-chan probably wouldn't know what that means.

Rima.

Rima.

Rima.

The very name sends shocks down my spine. Her name has a special ring to it. Rima. It's like the chiming of bells on a fine spring afternoon. Rima. Rima. Rima.

I must sound like a love-sick teenager, don't I?

Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight. That's just a good first impression, at most, only lust. Love in first sight doesn't happen. It certainly didn't happen to me. Was I supposed to fall in love with her the first day I saw her butterscotch golden locks gracefully placed above her fair face, her petite figure fitting snuggly into the patio seat, and

Her glare at me that seemed to be telling me: LEAVE THIS PLACE AT ONCE OR ELSE, dripping with venom and danger?

Definitely didn't fall in love them.

Time. That's perhaps the main ingredient in my love for Rima. Time. We spent more time together, doing things, playing, goofing off, and of course, never missing one of her glares that were sent my way.

The way she glared at me.

The way she fake-cried.

The way she pouted.

The way she laughed.

Ohh, her laugh. Don't even get me started on that. It's better than chimes; it's like a laugh, yet not a laugh. It's a melody. It's a song. It's…it's…

It's simply beautiful and indescribable.

I can only hope that I'm:

_I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be_

And I hope that:

_I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time_

_But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why  
And I don't know why  
Why  
I don't know_

I don't know why, after everything I've done for you, I don't mean a thing. Am I nothing?

I don't believe it.

I wish I could be. Rima, I wish I could be

Everything you want.


	6. Wasted

**A Collection of Songs for the Soul**

* * *

**A/N: **Hey everyone! I'm back! Well, I haven't much to say. I felt like writing a (slight) Kuutau SongFic instead of Rimahiko.

And just a question: is anyone requesting an Amuto one out there? I don't really like that pairing, but if you REALLY want one, I'll write one. :)

I've taken The Sky's Bouquet's (wow, that kinda looks weird) advice. Check out her review for specifics. Basically, now, my SongFics won't be centered around the song, but instead will be based loosely on the song. The song sets the mood and stuff. Blah, I can't explain. Just if it's a bit weird, sorry.

ONE LAST NOTE. Because of the large usage of italics for thoughts, flashbacks, etc. in this SongFic, the actual lyrics will be _italicized_ and **bolded. _So they will look like this_**. Haha, that was fun! :)

Alright, enjoy!

* * *

**Song:** Wasted by Carrie Underwood  
**Genre:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort  
**Pairing: **hinted Kuutau  
**Warning: **Just came back from break. Might be a bit rusty and be a bit OOC. I'm sorry about that. And about the new way of writing SongFics, it might be a bit weird. Also, I've never been to a bar so the information may be inaccurate.  
**Background Information:** Kuukai is 24, Utau is 25. The point is they're adults.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! or Wasted by Carrie Underwood

* * *

Utau couldn't help it. She simply couldn't help it. She was breaking, cracking—fast. She had no control over the situation anymore. Standing at the back door of her and Ikuto's house, she could feel the tears, already brimming around her eyes. She couldn't help but let one drop onto the ground. Yet when one tear fell, how easy is it to hold another? Tear by tear, these drops rolled down her red cheeks, not from the usual flush she got looking at her long-adored brother but rather from the sorrow that was engulfing her, from the inside out.

_**Standing at the back door she tried to make it fast  
One tear hit the hard wood it fell like broken glass**_

Love. She loved Ikuto. She loved him so much she could tell it was love. Not everyone loved their brother. Definitely, she could tell that her affections towards him were of love, true love. True affection and attraction and pure, blissful love.

But it didn't last. It did not last.

_Flashback:_

"_Ikuto, I'm back!" Utau announced cheerfully, returning from her work that day. The entire house was silent, except for some muffled voices coming from the living room. Maneuvering around the doorway and towards said room, Utau's eyes couldn't help but jump out at the sight in front of her._

_Her brother, her love. And her friend, Hinamori Amu. _

_On the couch. _

_Making out._

"_IKUTO!" Utau couldn't help but screech loudly. The inner pain was slowly engulfing her. She needed to tell him soon, or else she'd crack. Ikuto immediately leaped off of Amu, who was currently blushing an oh-so-innocent strawberry red._

"_Oh, it's you, Utau," Ikuto said lazily, scratching the back of his neck. Utau glared at him, dropping her purse smack on the ground._

"_Just me. Just me, eh? It's just Hoshina Utau, who comes home and finds her brother making out with her friend on the couch, huh? It's just your sister, who you see everyday and know who loves you dearly yet you still push me away, HUH?" Utau exclaimed, lashing out. Her blonde hair covered her face, as she couldn't help but throw a tantrum._

"_Utau, listen, you know perfectly well that we can't—" Utau cut off Ikuto's sentence midway._

"_I know we can't. I know we can't. I freakin' know we can't get together! But even so, I loved you! I loved you with my whole heart! Couldn't you at least freakin' get some mind and tell me you were gonna make out with my friend before that, huh? HUH?" Utau exclaimed. She turned around, wanting to leave the place before Ikuto saw her in her to-be ruined state: smeared mascara, red puffy eyes, and tears, millions of tears, escaping her eyes._

"_Utau!" she heard Ikuto's voice from behind her. But it didn't matter. What mattered now?_

_She dashed out of the front door, giving the impression she'd left the house, and quietly sneaked to the back door._

"It's ended…" Utau whispered quietly. "My love…it's slipped away. Gone. Ended…" Utau mumbled quietly to herself. "And…it's not coming back this time. No, it's not," Utau repeated, again and again, to herself.

_**She said, "Sometimes love slips away  
And you just can't get it back, let's face it"**_

She stood up. She shivered, the cool wind blowing straight at her, picking up her blonde ponytails. She raised her foot. She wanted to turn back, to run into Ikuto's arms, to at least be by his side and love him, even if he didn't return the feelings. She wanted love. She wanted to love, to know how to love. She was about to turn around.

But she couldn't. She couldn't. He'd hurt her so much; was she going to go running back into Pain's arms? Definitely no. She glared at her house's porch, taking a step out of the house.

"I'm going out. I'm gonna go out and do things my way. I'm gonna take this route out."

_**For one split second, she almost turned around  
But that would be like pouring rain drops back into a cloud  
So she took another step and said  
"I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it"**_

She ran out of the house, jumping into her automobile, a sleek new red one of the latest model. Turning on the music to full-blast and inserting her keys into the car, she started it and backed out of the driveway. Sighing, she drove down, street after street, road after road, just to locate somewhere nice where she could calm down and enjoy. But where was said place? No where near.

Somewhere. She just needed somewhere. Somewhere to recollect herself from the pains, the sudden emptiness of giving up. She needed somewhere. Anywhere but home. She didn't want to go home. She wasn't about to spend the rest of her life waiting for Ikuto to never return her feelings.

She wasn't going to waste anymore time.

_**I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting  
To wake up one day and find  
That I've let all these years go by wasted**_

* * *

"Yaya is sorry, Kuukai-koi," the brunette soothed. "But it just happened, Yaya means, Kairi-koi came and we were chatting and we visited our bedroom and went through some memories and—" Kuukai put his palm on Yaya's mouth. He didn't want to hear anymore of his to-be ex-girlfriend's excuses for cheating on him in _their_ house that they'd just moved into together recently.

"Leave. Now. Forever," Kuukai managed, attempting to control his anger. Yaya opened her mouth to object but Kuukai burst. "LEAVE!" he hollered, frightening Yaya. She'd never seen her boyfriend so mad before.

"O—okay," she stuttered. "K—Kuukai-k—Kuukai. Ya—Yaya is sorry," she mumbled, before exiting the house. Kuukai sighed, slumping down onto the ground. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to move in, and Kuukai was supposed to wait a year and then propose to her, and they were supposed to live happily ever after. They were _supposed_ to.

They didn't.

Stumbling up towards the fridge, he grabbed a whole entire bottle of wine – or beer – or whiskey. Popping open the cork, he immediately swallowed the whole entire bottle, in one gulp. Sighing satisfactorily after finishing one bottle, he reached into the nearby fridge and grabbed another. And another. And another.

He spat out the fourth bottle he drank. It wasn't soothing the pain anymore. Stumbling up, he wobbled towards the sink and dumped it all down.

_**Another glass of whiskey but it still don't kill the pain  
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain**_

He sighed. Placing his head in his hands, he moaned. What was up with him? The only thing that he could think of was the memories of him and Yaya, in the past, beautiful days. Going on dates, sharing romantic dinners, kissing each other, passionately, beautifully, and—

It was all gone.

"ARGH!" he exclaimed, jumping off from the ground. "I'm a man! I gotta live strong! Gotta forget that all! Gotta face reality. Y—YAYA IS GONE. SHE CHEATED. ON YOU. SHE. IS. GONE," Kuukai exclaimed in a fury.

Yes, indeed: she was gone.

_**He says, "It's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday  
Gotta face it"**  
_

He couldn't mope the whole day. Then he'd be wasting the whole entire time, waiting for Yaya, who would never return. He wasn't about to be an idiot and do that. He didn't want life to continue like this: waking up, waiting for her once again, wishing for all the pain to end. He didn't want to waste all that time.

_**'Cause I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting  
To wake up one day and find  
That I've let all these years go by wasted**  
_

He wasn't about to spend any more time waiting, wasted.

_**Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing  
The still of the morning, the color of the night  
I ain't spending no more time wasted**_

* * *

Utau drove down the roads. She'd spent the whole day riding throughout the town, going over fond and memorable…memories. But it was starting to get dark, and what was she to do? She didn't have time to get a house, and she wasn't about to go back. The moon was on her left and the sun was on her right. One was rising and one was setting. She needed somewhere to go.

_Hmm…that club looks rather attractive. I believe I'd look alright in the outfit I'd just bought…_Utau thought, looking at a club called Through the Night.

She drove her car into the parking lot.

_**She kept drivin' along  
'Til the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side**_

* * *

Kuukai looked at his reflection. He was wearing a casual collared shirt, with the top few buttons unbuttoned, his hair messed up, a pair of loose jeans, his shirt not tucked in correctly, and a pair of black leather shoes. He didn't have any plans for the night. Well, he _did_, but they were 'spend the night with Yaya.' So much for that idea.

_Hmmm, seems like there's a new club in town. What was the name? __Past the Night?_

Kuukai looked at his reflection in the mirror. Yes, his mind was set. He'd given up on Yaya already. Given up, moved on.

_**He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear  
For the first time in a while, yeah yeah**_

* * *

Shyly, Utau moved her way through the club, jammed full of people. She'd switched on her spacious car. Currently, she was wearing a bright red halter dress, not going quite long, just covering half of her calves. A pair of black stilettos went along with her outfit, along with simple red earrings and a hat for identity purposes. And she'd put her hair down so she'd be less recognizable. She felt ready for anything. Her first mission was to get a drink. Proudly, she strutted through the room to the next. She paused.

Though she'd need to get through the crowd in that room first.

_**Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting  
To wake up one day and find  
That I've let all these years go by wasted  
**_

Kuukai surveyed the club. It was rather nice. The mood wasn't completely slutty or anything yet, so he felt it was still suitable. A few girls had been attempting to drag him onto the **dance** floor but each he politely turned down, insisting later, with a jock's flirtatious smile he'd long acquired in his junior years.

Licking the roof of his mouth, he felt like having another whisky or something wouldn't hurt. After all, he was done with waiting and wasting. He was expecting and cherishing, time and everything.

_**Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing  
The still of the morning, the color of the night  
I ain't spending no more time wasted  
**_

"Excuse me, please!" Utau exclaimed, as she finally got a seat on the bar. _Finally!_ she thought. It'd taken virtually _forever_ to get through. Tons of guys were constantly hitting on her and asking her for a dance. _Does no guy invite you for a drink these days?_ Utau thought to herself. Perhaps none of them were quite romantic. It was a modern club, after all. What had she expected?

And now, not the wait, but the invitation. Of someone to notice her.

"A shot of vodka, please," Utau requested, as the bartender nodded and went to get a glass.

_**Oh I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting  
To wake up one day and find  
That I've let all these years go by wasted, yeah, yeah  
**_

Kuukai sighed. He'd finally gotten around the annoying, pestering girls to his goal: the bar. There wasn't quite anything attracting, as he gazed around, his neon green eyes resting on a blonde, looking familiar yet he couldn't quite pinpoint it. The bartender was handing her a glass and she was flipping through her purse to get her wallet. Seeing her scrambling state, it was evident she didn't have the money.

Kuukai squished his way through.

"Sorry for the wait, I'll be covering this lady's drink," Kuukai said smoothly, handing the bartender a bill. The bartender nodded, taking the money and going to serve another customer.

Kuukai stared at the blonde in front of him. Had he already found another?

_**Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing  
The still of the morning, the color of the night  
I ain't spending no more time wasted**_

"K—Kuukai?" Utau choked out, seeing the boy in front of her. Kuukai smirked. His suspicions had been confirmed: it was indeed the popstar idol he'd seen. He opened his mouth to respond the greeting but Utau immediately clamped her hand onto his mouth.

"Shh. I can't let Sanjou-san know that I'm here," Utau hissed, as Kuukai nodded. Utau sighed, taking her hand off his mouth and turning towards her vodka. In one gulp, she drowned it all down.

"So, how's everything?" Kuukai asked. Utau shrugged. "All good. My career's been progressing. You?" she asked. They hadn't seen each other for, what 5 years? They'd parted ways after Utau had gone official, leaving the country to travel around the world, and Kuukai parted to professional soccer training. Since then, they hadn't contacted. The crush – of both on each other – without the spark, faded away.

Kuukai smirked.

"Hey, want to have another challenge? For old time's sake?" he asked. Utau's eyes narrowed down but you could find the blaze behind them. Blazing purple fire. Frightening, in the least.

"You're on, Ramen Boy," Utau said, calling Kuukai by his nickname she'd given him way back. Kuukai smirked. He couldn't call her 'Idol-san,' or else he'd give away her identity.

"Whoever drinks the most beer and doesn't throw up wins," Kuukai announced, as Utau nodded. They called the bartender over and he nodded, understanding the terms. He passed both of them a beer.

"Three, two, one, go!" he announced, slightly amused with the two adults' childish behavior. The two of them launched for their beers, gulping down the alcoholic drink, and their sorrows, their pains. They were both thinking the same thing as the beer trickled down their throats.

_I'm not spending any time wasted anymore._


	7. Picture to Burn

**Song:** Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift  
******Genre:** Hurt/Discomfort/Drama**  
****Pairing:** X-Tadeshiko, hinted Kukade  
******Warning:** minor Tadase-bashing, and yes, Nadeshiko is real. And rather OOC.  
******Background Information:** you could view this SongFic as AU if you want. Basically, Nadeshiko exists as Nagihiko's twin instead of a cross-dressing Nagihiko.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! or Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift

**

* * *

**

"**Let's break up."**

_State the obvious  
__I didn't get my perfect fantasy  
__I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me _

"W—what?" I managed to blubber out. Nervously, he scratched the back of his head. "Well, it's just…umm…we're not meant to be…?" he managed awkwardly. I stared at him in disbelief. We weren't meant to be? Was he freakin' kidding me?

"Well, I mean, we can still be friends, right?" he said with an offered hand, smiling to me one of those especially reserved smiles that were only supposed to be for me. I stared at his hand, which used to warm me up whenever he held my hand, but now was an alien object. His hand? What was that?

"I mean, I feel like there's something not quite working out between us so maybe if we give each other some time, we can figure out what it is," he said, trying a different approach. "Like we each spend some time back in our normal lives before dating," he said. I still couldn't move.

"W—what?" I could only repeat myself like a broken record. He sighed…exasperatedly?

"What I mean is, let's just have some time for ourselves, like how it was before we dated," he said. "Alright?" he asked. "Well then," he continued on without allowing me to give an answer (which I probably wouldn't have been able to anyways), "I'll be seeing you?" he asked nervously. I bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from breaking down right there right then, and nodded solemnly, unable to raise my head to face him. His face? What did it look like?

"Bye, Nadeshiko," he said gently, giving my hands a squeeze before he left. He shouldn't have done that. The moment he let go, my legs gave way and I collapsed onto the ground. I could almost hear his irritated sigh as he pulled me up. I managed to stand and not fall till he turned around the corner. Then, I collapsed. I didn't care that I was in the middle of a park. I managed to find my cell phone in my bag and speed-dialed my brother.

"_Yeah?_" Nagihiko spoke briskly, as if he had just finished a basketball game. Or was in the middle. Normally, I'd probably care more but I really wasn't in the state to care now.

"H—he broke up with me," I managed in broken pieces, with sobs in the middle. The moment I said the words 'broke up,' I heard my brother end the call. Of course; he was rushing over.

I stumbled over to a nearby bench and suited myself there. I sighed tiredly. Tears no longer blurred my vision though I could imagine my eyes were red and puffy. I waited there for about five minutes, when I heard Nagi's frantic footsteps.

"Nade!" he called out as he rushed over to me. "Are you okay? What am I saying, course you aren't. Anyways, let's get you home," Nagi said as he turned around and signaled for me to climb on his back. I managed to crawl on, as Nagi smiled, patting my back. "Nade, you'll be fine. Forget that jerk that I don't remember why I called a friend," Nagi said. I couldn't help but smile, as I buried my head into Nagi's long purple hair resembling mine.

By the time I reached home, I was asleep.

_So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy  
__That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay  
__And by the way...._

"I can't believe it," Nagi complained aloud as he chugged down his mug of hot chocolate. "He broke up with my sister! My freakin' sister, for freakin' sake!" He brought the mug to his mouth once more but cursed and slammed it down on the ground when he found it was empty.

"Do you wanna hear something hilarious?" Kuukai spoke. "He told me you were obsessive. You were a perfectionist and needed everything perfect. And you were crazy." As if to calm Nagi down, he quickly added, "I flippin' told him Nadeshiko was the coolest girl in Seiyo." I couldn't help but laugh. 'Coolest'? Only Kuukai would describe someone as that.

"Nade-chii, we'll show Tadase a piece of his mind!" Yaya exclaimed, her brown pigtails lively with excitement though her face showing determination of a baby's. On her side, Rima and Amu nodded, as I managed a weak smile.

I drew a deep breath, calming myself of all the emotions swirling inside me. Finally, I opened my eyes.

"You know what? I've just found out something," I exclaimed. Everyone crowded around to hear.

"The reason Tadase broke up with me? Cause he's _freakin' gay,"_ I spoke with venom.

_I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive  
__You're a redneck heartbreak  
__Who's really bad at lying  
__So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time  
__As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn. _

"Wow. And how come I've never noticed?" Kuukai said with great mockery. "That's strange. Now I realize all his strange behaviors actually make sense," Kuukai said weaving great wisdom in his words. Nagi and Yaya burst out laughing, and even Rima and Amu managed a chuckle.

"And _he's_ the one that's obsessed. He won't even let me ride that stupid old pickup of his. Not that I really like it, considering the fact Nagi has an awesome Mercedes-Benz," I added. Nagi gave an encouraging grin, and I smiled back.

"And he constantly breaks girls' hearts. Why, I don't understand why he's called the _prince_ of the school," I emphasized Tadase's school stereotype, as we burst out laughing because of the inside joke.

"Mental note: call him that next time in front of a group of girls," Nagi spoke, and everyone grinned mischeviously.

"And frankly, that boy cannot lie to save his life. Jeez. He ruined Kuukai's surprise birthday party all because of that," I complained. Everyone sighed exasperatedly.

"I know! He just cannot lie! I mean, is it that hard?"

"He couldn't even hide the fact that he never even liked my sister," Nagi grumbled in a venomous voice.

"You know what?" I exclaimed loudly with a sudden idea. I grabbed my wallet from my bag and dumped out all the pictures he and I had taken together. I dashed over towards the heater in the room as everyone watched me with great interest.

"I hate him. I absolutely hate and loathe and detest him to the very limits of detestation. Is that even a word?" I added on an afterthought.

"Microsoft Office 03 Word Check says it is," Nagi said, and I kept on going.

"So, frankly, I'm just gonna forget it all. Lemme burn up all of this times' memories. Cause as far as I'm concerned, he's just a memory to be burned," I said. I watched the fire lighting amongst the logs in the heater and threw the pictures in, watching them smolder into ashes under the dancing blazes. I smiled in pride.

"Mission Complete."

_There's no time for tears  
__I'm just sitting here planning my revenge  
__There's nothing stopping me  
__From goin' out with all of your best friends. _

"No time to cry, guys," I spoke with determination. "I need to start planning my revenge on him," I said logically. Everyone crowded around, wondering what my revenge plan was. I smirked.

"Well, since he's not dating me anymore, there isn't really any reason for me to not date someone else, is there?" I spoke rhetorically. Nagi got slightly irritated but I gave him the 'I-know-what-I'm-doing' look and he stayed seated, listening to my plan.

"And my victim will be…Kuukai, what about you?" I spoke with great malice in my voice. Fearfully, Kuukai took a step back. "Umm…what?"

"Come on, you were once Tadase's loyal Jack. Wouldn't it be fun if I, ex-Queen of the Guardians, decided to ditch the King and go for the Jack?" I spoke. No one corrected me that the 'King' had ditched me. They were smart. Or else…

"Umm…I don't think that's a good idea, Nade…" Kuukai spoke nervously, as he glanced from me to Nagi, and then back to me. I laughed airily, with a hint of darkness and maliciousness.

"Don't worry. After Nagi beats up Tadase, he'll have no strength left for you, Soccer Boy," I spoke. Kuukai grumbled some words under his breath but I glared at him.

"Souma Kuukai. Will you? Or will you not?" I asked plainly. He nervously nodded yes, as a peaceful smile returned to my face.

"Great! That worked out quite nicely, didn't it?" I said rhetorically. Everyone nodded nervously.

_And if you come around  
__Saying sorry to me  
__My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be _

"By the way, Nagi, if he ever comes around some day," I began, but he cut me off.

"Oh, he will _not_ want to come around. You should've seen Father's face when I told him of the news. It was literally red, I tell you," Nagi said, as I laughed at the thought. "Alright then. Father will know what to do," I said.

_'Cause I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive  
__You're a redneck heartbreak  
__Who's really bad at lying  
__So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time  
__As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn. _

"You know what? We should also follow him to see if he broke up with you cause he was cheating on you!" Yaya exclaimed. "Yaya has seen these types of scenes in shojo mangas all the time! Maybe he's cheating on you!" Yaya exclaimed. "YAYA WILL DO THIS! YAYA WILL FIND THE SOLUTION TO THIS MYSTERY!" she exclaimed voluntarily. I nodded, giving her that role.

"Rima, Amu, you two are the only people without a job. Hmmm…" I thought, as Rima rolled her eyes.

"Baka Nade. It's easy. We'll sabotage all his dates with any other girls. Got a problem, Amu?" she asked. The pinkette shook her head as she high-fived with Rima, a small grin on both of their faces. I smirked real wide.

"Hotori, you are going _down_," I thought, as I heard a flame crackle in the heater. _Another memory burned away…_I thought to myself.

_And if you're missing me  
__You better keep it to yourself  
__Cuz coming back around here  
__Would be bad for your health _

"Are you sure you won't accept him if he comes back, Nade? He could've just been having a bad day, or wasn't in a good mood, or—" I cut off Amu's question with a threatening glare. I then proceeded in grinning widely.

"Oh, if he's missing me, he'd better tell no one about it. If he dares to come back…he'll be in it. Perhaps we should get him in a wig and pass him through an all-girl's school…" I mused as Nagi nodded in agreement. Everyone gawked, probably at the cruelty of us Fujisaki twins.

_'Cause I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive  
__You're a redneck heartbreak  
__Who's really bad at lying  
__So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time  
__In case you haven't heard _

_I really really hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive  
__You're a redneck heartbreak  
__Who's really bad at lying  
__So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time  
__As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn _

_Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn  
__you're just another picture to burn  
__Baby, burn....._

"Alright. Operation Kill Jerk Gay Quote-quote Prince Quote-quote End Hotori Tadase for Breaking Up with Fujisaki Nadeshiko the Best Person in the Whole World, shortened as O: KJFQPQEHTBUFNBPWW, commence!" I exclaimed. Everyone nodded, as they all began gathering their things, preparing to head home from our house. After everyone left, I strolled back to the room we'd been in and peeked inside the heater. One last crackle, and the last picture burned.

"Burn…" I mused. "Burn it all. Cause he's just another picture to burn…"

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I know I took a (super [ultra]) long break (3-4 months), but I'm back. Yay. This SongFic was written quite a while ago, so it might seem kind of weird and off, but never mind about that. Hopefully, my readers are still there. Thanks guys (:

~~*Hope-chan*~~


	8. Invisible

**Song:** Invisible by Taylor Swift  
**Genre: **Romance/Drama  
**Pairing:** hinted Kukade, hinted Kutau  
**Warning:** mehh...last songfic of this thing. :) hope you'll enjoy!  
**Background Information:** One: yes, Nadeshiko is actually a girl, and two: I know Nadeshiko doesn't wear glasses but pretend she does, okay? It's rather easy to imagine in my opinion :3  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Shugo Chara! or the song Invisible by Taylor Swift

* * *

It's just another day, as I'm wandering down the halls. It's hard, but I manage to walk with my head up. No one's really my friend. Most of the times, I walk with my head down low. Yup. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only lowest social standing there could be in the school _history_:

Me, Fujisaki Nadeshiko.

Which is pretty ridiculous. People find me striving to excel as being a perfectionist, find me dancing to be snobby, and find baking as something only old-fashioned folk do. Which is, as I said, pretty ridiculous. No one could see it from my point-of-view, apparently.

"I can't believe it, it's Hoshina Utau!"

"Hoshina-san! I heard your newest album! IT'S AWESOME!"

"Hoshina-san, we love you!"

And, duppity-duppity-crap. Up front is Ms. School Idol, Hoshina Utau herself. As a rising pop star of Japan, I don't know why she even bothers to come to school. In my point-of-view, she'd do better with a tutor off at home.

Well, apparently, straight stereotypical blonde hair is 'in' and so are artificial ultraviolet eyes. Personally, I find Hoshina Utau annoying. She's seriously stubborn, that girl. She never admits her faults, not that anyone bothers to point them out and endanger their social standing at school. She's popular, yet she doesn't seem to care about her social standing at school.

And, duppity-duppity-_doopity_-crap. Up front is my secret crush for one year, Souma Kuukai.

_She can't see the way your eyes  
__Light up when you smile  
__She'll never notice how you stop and stare  
__Whenever she walks by_

Souma Kuukai: captain of the school soccer team and a popular jock at school. He has messy brown hair and a pair of gleaming emerald eyes, always dancing with amusement and excitement. He's really easy-going and great to hang out with, thus my secret crush for one year.

Just like anyone else in the school, he makes way for Hoshina Utau to pass through the halls.

Just like anytime he's not speaking, he's smiling that carefree smile of his as his eyes are lightening up.

And just like any other male homosaphien specie mammal on the world, he always stops and stares at her when she walks past him.

Cruddy. My secret crush has a secret crush as well.

_And you can't see me wantin' you the way you want her  
__But you are everything to me_

Well, it's not like it really bothers me. Well, maybe a little of that jealously that his favorite shounen/shojo anime shows show on the Japanese Central TV Station Channel 10 at 7:00 on Saturday nights, or maybe a bit discomfort like how he feels when he misses a soccer goal in the middle of a game yet there's still a long run, or perhaps some dabs of annoyance like what he feels when he's planning to leave the soccer field after his last shot that he gets in but he can't get it in. Yeah, perhaps some of all of those. Well, he'll never see me anyways, so I guess he'll never get to know that, well…

He was everything to me for a part of my life.

_And I just wanna show you  
__She don't even know you  
__She's never gonna love you like I want to  
__You just see right through me but if you only knew me  
__We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible_

In truth, I'm probably even lying to myself. Drats. It's like they say: you can lie to anyone except yourself. I really loved him. I just put up a passive face whenever he passes me, or speaks to me, or touches me—

Oh, when his fingers brush past mine as we both reach for a fallen pencil on the ground, I literally have to control myself to not jerk my hand away because of the shock that passes through my body when that happens.

That's why I put up a passive face. So he doesn't know what I'm thinking. But in truth, I just wanna stomp up to him, slap him, tell him I like him, tell him Hoshina Utau doesn't give him a crap, and stomp away.

Perhaps I'll do that on the last day of school.

I have a feeling…I'm invisible to him. Well, of course; I'm of the lowest social standing. No on really cares about me. The only time they notice me is when 1. the teacher is asking, or 2. they're going to tease me. He just sees right through me, but if he only knew the true me…

I don't believe them when they say I'm a perfectionist. I just try hard and want to try harder. I don't believe them when they say dancing is snobby. The way dancers move and sway in rhythm and beat is a miracle to me and dancing makes me feel like I can take a step closer to them. Cooking is a joy that truly, only those who cook can understand. If only he knew these sides of me, perhaps…

A miracle could happen?

_There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through  
__She's never gonna see the light  
__No matter what you do_

It's funny. His eyes light up when she passes, but she renders him as invisible. My entire body lights up when I see him, hear him, or think of him, but he renders me as invisible. What a complicated love triangle this is.

I kinda feel sorry for him. He feels for her like I feel for him. Hoshina Utau to him is like him to me.

Again, a complicated love triangle.

_And all I think about is how to make you think of me  
__And everything that we could be_

How in the world can I get him to see me? If he sees me, he might not only see through me anymore. If he doesn't only see through me, perhaps, then perhaps…

_And I just wanna show you  
__She don't even know you  
__She's never gonna love you like I want to  
__You just see right through me but if you only knew me  
__We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible_

He could see what we could be: a beautiful miracle.

_Like shadows in a faded light  
__Oh we're invisible  
__I just wanna look in your eyes and make you realize_

I don't dare to look at him in his eyes. They're frightening. I've tried once. I never came out. A part of me is still stuck there. Perhaps that's why I'm attracted to him. He stole part of my heart, and I want it back.

_I just wanna show you she don't even know you  
__Baby let me love you let me want you  
__You just see right through me  
__But if you only knew me  
__We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible  
__She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile_

I can still hear Hoshina Utau's fans chit-chatting behind me. I move my glasses up my nose by a notch and continue down the hall. I guess he'll never know me. I guess he'll never see me.

I guess we'll never be that beautiful miracle we were meant to be.

* * *

**A/N:** Alright, so I've finished with this small snippet collection! Hope you enjoyed it! You're welcome back anytime for a song soothing your soul. :)


End file.
